11 things I've learned

This will likely be a letter for myself, but if you’re seeking creative freedom and emotional intelligence, I’m sure you’ll take something from it too.

My birthday’s next week, and this year feels more reflective than usual. I’m no longer in my 20s, and I actually love the feeling of accumulating experience. Also, this marks six years living abroad. I feel like I’ve matured 15 years during this time. So, I tried to list 11 things I’ve learned that changed the way I move through life, see the world, boost my creativity and build inner resilience along the way.

Shall we?

1. You will get confused.
   Let’s start with this one. Not to discourage you, but because confusion is how you find your way. It forces you to problem-solve. Not just visas or taxes, but relationships, boundaries, friendships, and your business. Confusion means life is nudging you to grow. Being stuck in something “fine” is worse than struggling to figure it out.

2. Your best and worst sides will be activated. A lot.
   Use it. All of it. Let those moments show you your physical, emotional, and mental edges. Don’t ignore what you don’t like about yourself, or you’ll delay your evolution. And stay trapped because you will be controlled by it.

3. Your values will become clear like water.
   The real question is: can you embody them? If not, expect some discomfort ahead. Life will show you the cost of betraying your own principles.

4. You won’t stress about the little things as much.
   Overloaded with documents, being far from family and friends… These things will shift your perspective and turn you into a rock. But that brings me to the next one...

4. Have an outlet for your emotions.
   Therapy. Art. Journaling. Movement. You’ll need something to process everything that comes up. Your body will tell you what’s working and when to switch. Let it.

5. You’ll let go of strict identities.
   “The good girl,” “the overachiever,” “the misunderstood one”: they all had their time. They helped you survive. But clinging to them keeps you replaying the same childhood dynamics. Thank them and set them down.

6. Be prepared to lose people.
   Letting go of old versions of yourself means some connections will fade. Don’t chase explanations. Don’t stay in places where you’re proving your loyalty instead of living the truth. Let them find their tribe, and trust that yours is on the way. The real ones stay, even when you change. Especially if they’re changing, too.

7. You’ll become more respectful and less judgmental.
   Everyone’s carrying something, you just don’t always see it. And if you catch yourself judging others, pause and ask: what am I avoiding in my own life? Most people won’t ask that question, because it takes effort (and guts) to really look in the mirror. But the truth is, we all have flaws. We all have something to work on. The sooner you own that, the lighter life feels.

8. Don’t fear being versatile.
   Mental, emotional, and skill flexibility = survival. This is what keeps you moving, adapting, and thriving. Especially if you’re a creative. And since you’re reading this, chances are very high.

9. Do something that’s not transactional.
   Whether it’s through your work or volunteering somewhere, contribute without expecting anything back. It reminds you: energy moves in more ways than money. And what you receive in return might be exactly what you needed.

10. Keep travelling.
    You have to get off the island to see it. You don’t need to move permanently, but do get distance. From your city. From your upbringing. From other people’s narratives. It rewires everything.

11. Let discomfort teach you, but don’t marry it.
    Living abroad or choosing a path outside the norm can make you mistake constant hardship for strength. Just because something’s hard doesn’t mean it’s good. Don’t chase the “lesson” forever. Learn it, apply it and keep walking.

I started this list thinking it was about life abroad.
But turns out, it’s about growing up.

I hope that by challenging yourself, getting more intimate with the parts of you’ve hidden from yourself (for whatever reason), you find a deeper sense of joy, peace and fulfillment… even in the middle of chaos even when things don’t make sense yet.

You should be proud of yourself. I know I am.

Thanks for reading,

Yoli